When things don't go your way

So this week I want to talk to you about intense negative emotions.

Intense negative emotions can rule our life if we let them, and it’s so easy to let them isn’t it. It’s so much easier to react in the heat of the moment then reign in our anger or sadness or even our anxiety. Reigning in our emotions is hard, it takes concentration and a lot of practice.

Earlier this week I needed to get my car to the mechanics as it was playing up and needed some parts replaced. I was already running a little late getting it to the mechanics and as I turned out of my street onto the main road my car just died! I nearly lost it but I’ll tell you how I managed to keep my cool in a rather stressful situation.

So the first thing I did was to have a cry and get a little mad – there is no point in only feeling the good feelings, or trying not to feel the negative feelings at all. So I allowed myself to feel the emotions, to acknowledge the emotions. Giving them a name to take their power away.

Then I did some paced breathing – breathe in for the count of 5, hold for the count of 2-3 and breathe out for the count of 8-9. This particular skill helps to slow your body down, your heart rate, your blood pressure and obviously your breathing. By doing this you are activating your parasympathetic nervous system which is the opposite of our flight, fight, freeze response.

I then made some phone calls to cancel my appointments I had for the day as I was not going to be able to make them anymore. This practical step was vital in reducing my stress levels, I know it doesn’t sound like much however it was one less thing I had to worry about. I hate being late!

I ended up doing a facebook live to show people how to use skills during a ‘crisis’ or stressful event/situation. Contribution is a really great way to change your perspective and focus. By helping others in the moment I was able to help myself even better.

I was also practicing mindfulness to reduce my emotional stress response. I did this by describing what I was seeing and hearing and letting the thoughts of those descriptions flow on by rather than following those thoughts.

I followed up with some self-care later in the day to help re-fill my tanks – for me it looked like a chocolate hedgehog slice and a healthy lunch with plenty of water.

So all in all it was a rather successful day. I managed to bring down my immediate stress levels and anxiety about having a broken car and how the hell was I going to manage to get it where it needed to be. By doing all this I managed to have a really great day instead of letting this situation colour the rest of my day like it used to in the past.

I really hope this was useful and that you feel more confident to come through a crisis using skills.

Have a fantasmical day xx