My Story

Hello gorgeous one.

I want to tell you a story, a story about a lost little girl who never thought she would find the light again.

The story begins when she was little, she had always been sensitive and quick to cry. Life just seemed so big to her, people seemed to be cruel and even though she wasn't, she felt alone.

Growing up was an emotional roller coaster full of tears, fights, anger, hatred, confusion and eventually self-mutilation.

That's right, she had so much pain and hatred that it manifested into cutting into her skin and watching the blood well up. No one could help her or save her, but she didn't realise this which caused even more pain, more hatred and sadness.

Eventually she was diagnosed with a personality disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder. This disorder is characterised with little to no emotional regulation or distress tolerance skills, really crappy interpersonal relationship skills with a fear of abandonment and rejection. People with this disorder are also quite prone to risky behaviour such as drugs, unsafe sex and self-mutilation.

This girl would cut up her skin endlessly, overdose on the very medication that was to help her and end up in the emergency room weekly. She lived in a hovel, in the dark, alone. Her visitors were the darkness, depression, paranoia, anxiety and sadness. At one point they came one day and just didn’t leave – they moved in and lived with her there.

This story though, it has a happy ending – even if it took many years to get. Today this woman is a mother herself and a wife. She spent years and many dollars on getting herself well, on learning about herself, growing as a person.

Now she helps others who are where she was, she helps to guide them out of the darkness and into the light, out of the fog that seems never ending. She guides them on a path of wellness, of happiness, of living a life they love rather than just survive each moment like she was. That girl was me and that was part of my story. That woman now is me.